I have never cared for vanity plates mostly because of the vanity involved. I also have a more pragmatic nature and could care less what kind or color of vehicle I drive as long as it gets me reliably from point A to point B. So, I am even less inclined to care about the letters and numbers on my license plate. That is, until now.
As we were getting the bus registered recently, the “Hippygeek” mentioned the possibility of getting vanity plates. I thought it was just silly to go out of ones way to not only order but to also pay extra for a vanity plate. Standard issue has always worked just fine for me. Vanity plates were for the, well, vain. They weren’t for us practically minded folks. But, after giving it some thought, I decided that my negative nelly attitude was probably a little dated and that maybe it was time to reconsider my stance on the subject.
According to the American Association of Motor Vehicle Administrators, there are over 9 million vanity plates registered in North America. That is quite an increase from the very first one issued in Pennsylvania in 1931. There doesn’t seem to be any record of what appeared on the first one or even what the motive was for it’s issue. But, the trend caught on and with Americans continuing to find new ways to exercise the First Amendment, it provides yet another canvas for them to express themselves.
Bumper stickers can be freely plastered all over one’s vehicle with any language or agenda that comes to mind. But, as much as the State Governments love the extra income, they do have tolerances on what is and what is not acceptable ways for people to express themselves on state issued plates. Bans have been put on topics ranging from obscenities and alcohol to hate speech and religion. A committee at the DMV has the right to refuse anything which they deem offensive which in turn creates some nasty litigation concerning the First Amendment.
So where does one begin to “vanitize” one’s vehicle. I don’t have any anger issues or political agendas so “IH8MYX” and “DP0RTM” are out. I don’t have a sports car so there is no reason to get a plate that says ”GOES185” or “NVERLA8”. Of course, “IPMS247” may keep the police at a distance and although it may be occasionally appropriate “DUMBLND” would certainly not be my first choice.
One also has to be clever and have a lot more time on their hands than I do to think up things like “SNIFINS” referring to the Jimmy Buffet song “Fins” – “fins to the right, fins to the left”.
So, here I am trying to approach the topic of vanity plates with a more positive attitude. Compared to one chump in Hong Kong that paid 9 million US dollars for a special plate, the ones here are practically free and it might be kinda fun for a change not to have standard issue. I thought about asking the “Dudes” for input but, they would probably vote for something like “LUV2FRT” or “JEDI MOM”. So, I decided not to give them a vote.
Our new plate
In the end, I gave in to vanity. The “Hippegeek” and I combined our wildest imaginations and ended up with something practical, appropriate and “G” rated(remember, we’re new at this).
The plate came this week and it simply reads “D2K2”
“The basis of tragedy is man’s helplessness against disease, war and death; the basis of comedy is man’s helplessness against vanity (the vanity of love, greed, lust, power).” Dawn Powell