Miriam Webster defines garage sale as “a sale of used household or personal articles (as furniture, tools, or clothing) held on the seller’s own premises”. I would like to expand that definition to include the “actual sale of the garage itself and all of its contents to be removed from the premises by May 15”. The expansion of this definition is motivated by the fact that we are two weeks from departure, our garage is still full and it needs to be empty.
It’s hard to believe that there was a time when I could pull my car into the garage and still have plenty of room to walk around the vehicle and unload the groceries. Unfortunately, it a very distant memory. A lifetime of stored things in boxes, thirteen years of extra building materials from house renovations, 2 kids worth of toys, sailboat cushions and sails, tools, abandoned projects, cleaning supplies, trash(yes, trash that never made it out to the curb), dirt, spiders and rat poop have made the space impossible to deal with.
The garage. You didn't think I was going to let you see inside, did you?
That’s not to say I haven’t tried. I decreased our bike inventory from 9 to 4. I hauled off a car load of old paint to the recycling center. I sold 5 boxes of stained glass supplies, I threw away lots of toys (don’t tell the Dudes). I even parted with my “projects” so that someone else could “love them” into a new life. The spiders were “gassed” and the rat will no longer be adding to the problem. So, there has been some progress but, it is still full and May 15 is coming fast.
The most pitiful part of this story is that we also have two outbuildings and they are not empty. One is the Hippygeek’s “shop” and the other is full of lawn and garden maintenance equipment as well as heaps of junk we inherited from the previous owner who was obviously too overwhelmed to deal with any of it as I am now. The good news is that I can put a lock on those doors and walk away…. for now. But, I can’t ignore the garage. It needs to be emptied.
Which brings me to the fantasies I have about a helicopter hovering with a giant pair of tongs to grab the garage and fly away with it or one of those excavators with a huge shovel to drive up, scoop it up and haul it off. Anything. Anything but me having to finish the job.
I suspect the garage sale signs I see on every corner will haunt me and guilt me over the next week into finally giving in and finishing the job so that the garage WILL be empty AND clean on May 15th.“
“Only in America – do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage” Unknown