Under normal circumstances, I would not consider providing the Dudes with cell phones until they were 25 or 30. Then, of course, they could provide for themselves. But, our trip is an unusual circumstance and unusual circumstances make parents do unusual things, like providing cell phones for 6 and 11 year old kids.
It started innocently enough. The hippygeek had to return his phone to his now former employer. And, my $20 “stupid” phone was not going to provide me with some desirable options that would be handy on our trip such as a “small” camera and internet access. So, we made a trip to the phone store to upgrade our communication devices.
Immediately upon entry to our local phone store, the Dudes were grabbed away as if pulled by an overwhelming gravitational force. Their eyes glazed over, their hands left ours and they no longer new that we existed. The cliche’ “kid in a candy store” apparently needs to updated to “kid in a cell phone store”. At first, we welcomed their departure as it would free us up to shop “in peace”. We needed to figure out which products would suit our needs and this would best be done without distraction.
Sure enough, the “magnetic” phones kept them busy long enough for us to make our decisions. But, after their immersion into the latest technology, the Dudes reappeared with questions about which phones they would be getting and they informed us about which ones they wanted. After serious deliberation on the merits of children having cell phones(as well as a little begging from the children), we gave in.
The main reason for our moment of weakness was that our travel would involve everything from going to crowded amusement parks to hiking back country trails and the risk of the Dudes getting separated or lost is always a concern. Having the ability to communicate with them would make us, as parents, feel better. So we thought. Then, they actually started using the phones.
My new phone rang for the first time while I was making dinner that evening.
“Hello?”
“Hi Mommy, whatcha doin’?”
It was the Lil’ Dude.
“I am making dinner. What are you doing?”
“I am talking to you and watching TV.”
The conversation continued and I thought it was kind of cute….. at first. Then, I received 3 more calls from the den before dinner was ready.
The Big Dude, being better at spelling, preferred the texting route. The evening continued with alternating calls and texting until I put my phone in the bedroom, out of earshot, where it would remain for the rest of the night.
The next day was more of the same but had evolved into prank calls in which they would call, giggle, then hang up.
The third day, the Lil’ Dude, who is the chatty type, discovered the power and freedom of having another way to chat at his fingertips. He began calling relatives and with each call asked for the phone numbers of other relatives that he could also call.
On the fourth day, the Lil’ Dude’s phone indicated he had a text message, his first. His arms shot into the air the like he had just made a touchdown and he yelled “YES”! It’s as if receiving the text validated his existence – now, he was somebody!
Being the parents of minor cell phone users, we now find ourselves having to set rules for the use of these phones, like, not taking them to school. Always the lawyer and lacking evidence, the Lil’ Dude responded to this rule with “ How will I prove to my friends that I have one?” Not one to give up easily, he followed that up with “how about you write a note” The rules, like life, are evolving and will continue to do so as every new experience tests the old rules. This will be a challenge since our trip will be a continuous “new experience”.
The decision to go with unlimited minutes and texting was a good one although the decision to actually purchase the phones for the Dudes is still up for debate.
“I’m a great believer that any tool that enhances communication has profound effects in terms of how people can learn from each other, and how they can achieve the kind of freedoms that they’re interested in.” Bill Gates
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