I have a $20 “stupid” phone. That’s because I washed my other phone(not recommended) on a day that I was in desperate need of a communication device. So, in my panic, I ran to the phone store and told the man behind the counter that I did not have time to “shop”, “just give me the quickest, cheapest phone you’ve got”. It actually makes AND receives calls so I’m pretty happy. But, I will probably benefit from having a “smarter” phone for our trip. Still, I have some mixed emotions regarding cell phones.
I believe that the person who invented cell phones is a hopelessly addicted eavesdropper and invented the device as a way of promoting eavesdropping throughout the connected world. The Covert Perceptive Listeners(CPL’s) of the world should unite, rejoice and proclaim the inventor a messiah of sorts who has brought eavesdropping to every living being within range of a transmitting tower. Even those not inclined or morally opposed, as I am, to eavesdropping can easily be converted after just one hop on a city bus.
I ride a shuttle bus to and from work each day and there is nowhere else that eavesdropping can be more expeditiously promoted. Just think, there are up to 40 people held as a captive audience, nowhere to go, no way not to listen. A bunch of strangers sitting in silence waiting for the first intolerable musical ring. Almost a call to listen. How efficient is that! 80 ears just waiting to take it all in. At that point there is no way out. All 40 passengers would willingly or unwillingly become indoctrinated into the not so private world of eavesdropping. I can see it now. After just one “can you hear me now?”, every one on the bus turns to the eavesdroppee or Unwitting Verbal Communicator(UVC’s) and say, yes! Go on! Unless of course, the newly initiated on the bus were to abide by the strict code of pretending not to listen.
I unwillingly became a CPL early in my bus riding days. It began with a simple “Hi, how are you?” from the woman sitting next to me. As I turned to reply to the greeting, the woman went on with “I’m heading over to get my car and then pick the kids up at Mom’s”. I was taken aback when I saw she wasn’t directing the conversation to me but to an ugly earring like gizmo attached to her head. Embarrassed, disappointed and a little angry at having been set up, I suffered through the remainder of the mundane errands that would keep her occupied for the rest of her day.That awkward beginning has evolved to the point where I can now filter out the mundane and focus on more inspiring interactions. After all, one must have a discerning ear to even make it worth a tilt of the head.
The CPL Messiah must also have connections within the cell phone industry. These companies do their part to support CPL activities by manipulating network connections. The resulting poor reception promotes elevated voice levels of the UVC’s therefore reaching out to even more potential converts. Today, the bus passengers, tomorrow, the world!
Of course there is one threat to world domination…………..text messaging.
“Globalization, as defined by rich people like us, is a very nice thing… you are talking about the Internet, you are talking about cell phones, you are talking about computers. This doesn’t affect two-thirds of the people of the world.” Jimmy Carter